Growing Up (a.k.a. Birthday Girl)

Oh. Sweet. Lord.

I'm turning 21 this Thursday. That sentence in itself is enough to freak me out right now. As everyone has sometime experienced, I don't even know how to feel about growing up. I think to myself; "Growing up? God, no. I'm an adult, I have been one for this whole last year." How? I don't know, life just happens.

I am tempted to sometimes feel like I want to freeze or slow down time, but then I remember that the future really excites me. And part of that excitement is feeling anxious about what's about to come. I have so many amazing things planned out for myself that the thought can sometimes be overwhelming.
A lot of women stop feeling excited about their birthdays because well, we are getting older every year. But I think that getting older involves gaining strength and experience. Growing wiser with every moment that goes by. I mean, I know 21 is not even "old". But it certainly is a transitioning age. The age you have to reach to be legal in every country. To drink and gamble in America and what not. An age in which you are kind of expected to have your life together.

I was talking to my little cousin the other day. She was born when I was 10, and ever since she's been like a little sister to me. I even got to change her diapers and feed her when I was like 11. She's ten years old right now, and I can't seem to help but feel plain scared when she talks about people my age. She asked me when I was planning on getting married...
My response? I was dead silent. I don't even have a boyfriend. And not currently looking for that kind of thing. It just amazes me that she sees me like this full grown woman. Am I the one who's wrong here? Or maybe it's just that she (in her ten year old mind) sees me as someone who's been through so much.
I still feel like I'm learning so much, and I sometimes even feel like a teen still. But I guess that when I was ten years old I saw people who were 21 as like big business people or something. I do not intend on getting married anytime soon or GOD FORBID popping out babies.

Definitely ready for some delicious birthday cake.

The thing is, time really does fly. One moment you're begging your mom to let you go out on the weekends and the next, your idea of a great night is watching an awesome movie or maybe reading your favorite book while drinking hot cocoa. This year, I really want it to be special. And maybe it's just because of the pressure I KNOW everyone feels on birthdays (wanting everything to go exactly the way you imagine it) but I am really looking forward to wearing my best smile and giving it my all. It is after all, MY SPECIAL DAY.

Now, let the celebrations begin! Also, I need cake.

*kisskiss* - Adrienne.