The thing with these relationships is that no matter how much we love them and care for them, we will most likely end up getting hurt ourselves. Loving someone who is self-destructive can often lead to a suffering that is entirely our own.
Maybe recognizing that someone you love so much is making your life really hard isn't the easiest thing to do. I know this because I've been there myself. But it certainly is a step you need to take so you can start living your life to the fullest.
We may feel that helping this person with their problems is the best option because it probably is. When we love someone, we help them get up every time they fall and we are there when every one else is not. We want to support them and hold their hand through the hard times. Yes, I know relationships are complicated and none of them are perfect. But this issue shows up when the bad times are greater in quantity than the good times.
So, when does all this start to fall apart?
- When their actions begin to affect our own mental health and well being.
- When no matter how much we've tried helping them, they just don't seem to want to get better.
- When we are no longer helping them but rather handling almost EVERYTHING in their lives.
- When we realize we are just being dragged into a lifestyle that isn't healthy for neither of us.
Personally, I've always been a very loyal person. When I love someone, be it as a friend, family member or any other relationship, I tend to really care about their well being and happiness. I still am very loyal and sincere, but some time ago I had a type of wake up call. I realized that some of my "friendships" or relationships were hurting me more than it was really necessary. I believe that some times you have to cut free from certain people, who no offense (honestly) are just no good for you. You may not feel appreciated and the truth is that it is completely respectable that you put yourself first. Because as they say, how can you help someone else if you yourself are not okay?
I am in no way saying that you stop loving these people. You just won't love them in a way where they hurt you repeatedly. Trust me, it's better to know where you really stand. And in some cases, keeping your distance is the best solution.
|I loved Chuck and Blair, but I have to admit that their relationship was extremely toxic.|
*kisskiss* - Adrienne.